With BPD, a person has difficulty managing their emotions. This can result in impulsive, often dangerous behaviour and unstable relationships. “The stigma of having BPD is massive and with little accessibility to treatment for it, there’s a huge need for more supports,” says Melanie.

Melanie’s own training includes dialectical behavioural therapy (DBT) and cognitive behavioural therapy (CBT). She is currently working toward Linehan certification as a DBT clinician. Melanie is also a MA Counselling Psychology practicum student qualified to practise under clinical supervision.

In helping to treat BPD, she has still another impressive credential. Melanie herself has BPD—and, 10 years ago, it got so severe she was fighting for her life.

Melanie had been in the midst of a successful music career. Then, as she recalls, severe depression struck. “I had always known there was something was different about me: instability in interpersonal relationships, fear of abandonment, impulsivity and always, always, intense worrying.” She resorted to that common escape, alcohol.

Now seven years alcohol-free, Melanie still vividly recalls the days of “getting blackout drunk, and increasingly with suicidal ideation, I took to my bed. This was the final straw. My sister Jackie got me to Sunnybrook Hospital a week before my birthday.”

After almost a three-hour examination, doctors diagnosed Melanie with BPD. With the sunlight of this diagnosis, the behaviours that had long afflicted her suddenly made sense. Melanie decided that, if she had to live with BPD, she would work to understand it and, with that understanding, to make a change in the world.

She resolved to talk about it and encourage others to the same. A trained mental health support group leader for a few non-profit organizations such as BPD society of BC, Melanie volunteers with many BPD groups.

She’s also a cast member of the YouTube series The BPD Bunch, and frequent guest on podcasts such as Back from the Borderline and BPD Bravery.

Melanie has succeeded, too, in making positive changes to her own behaviour and thinking. “Until recently my career in music was fraught with control, an obsession with fame and a lack of confidence in my own voice. For the first time in a decade I’m able to enjoy my music again.” This brighter note includes having a new album in the works.

Melanie credits Branksome with giving her the confidence to assume her post-BPD-diagnosis leadership role. “Branksome encourages you to become whatever you want to be, even if you don’t think you can. I loved singing but since Grade 3 had been afraid of performing in public. Nancy Olfert, my music teacher, saw through my fears to the real me. She made me head of jazz pop choir. Gems like Miss Olfert changed my life—and strengthened me to face up to BPD.”

With May being BPD Awareness month, Melanie is involved in many events, from doing a workshop of celebrating BPD awareness to speaking engagements. She welcomes alums to contact her anytime on Instagram @mindovermelanie, or by email at melaniegoldman@karmacares.ca. And she’s working on future additional BPD web resources.